7 Reasons To Be Patient When Dating.

Love is PATIENT.
Finding someone to love and having someone to love you in return is one of life’s most beautiful gifts.
I’m sure you will agree that genuine love cannot be bought. True love is not fake. The chapter written on love is found in the book of 1 Corinthians Chapter 13. This chapter is incredible. If relationships would follow these principles then the divorce rate in 2024 of 43% as stated by Forbes the would decrease.

The idea for today’s article was taken from 1 Corinthians 13:4. It says “Love Is Patient.”

Whether you’re new to dating or you’ve been through this before I trust that you will be blessed by what you are about to read. It is my hope that you will through the things shared below, it will bring about sound decision making when it comes to dating.

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The idea of dating should ultimately be to get married. If you’re not wanting to get married then don’t date period. People of integrity should never lead others on or with a false sense of expectation. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that in the first date you get married. Not at all.

However it must be on individuals mind that eventually as time going by married should come into the picture. There is too much of deception in the world today that has ruined the beauty and innocence of dating or courtship. Dating is a tool meant to test compatibility between you and the other person. It is most certainly not what we see in romance movies which promotes promiscuous lifestyles. 

Please note I’m not an expert in dating. However through my experiences and beliefs I extended the ideas below. I firmly believe that dating and courtship should be pure, respectful, transparent and decent. 
Further, should at any point during courtship one person decides that it’s not going to work out then it can end in a healthy way where both persons are unashamed. Ultimately if a relationship should end, there is no reproach or regret. 
The loose lifestyle today is one of the reasons that relationships end in tragedy, trauma and toxic means. 

If you are ready to begin dating/courting then let me introduce you to the PATIENT acronym.

While there are many views on relationships and dating I trust that as you read this article it would bring a fresh perspective and help with deciding on what is one of the most important decisions in one’s life. The PATIENT acronym is detailed below:

P - Pray
A - Attention
T - Time
I - Interest
E - Emotion
N - No Physical Relations
T - Take the next step

Be A Whole Person.

There comes a point in our lives when we decide it’s time to begin looking for a spouse. The person whom you would share the rest of your life with. While movies tell us to to look for your other half I want to encourage you to flee from that statement. You are made as a whole individual and so is your spouse to be. You are not incomplete.

The idea of being half a person sounds like an incomplete statement. I’d like to think that two whole persons coming together makes a whole life. Simply put two wholes make a better whole. If for some reason a person is not whole for example they’ve had bad relationships or experiences in life and is all not together. Then I’ll highly recommend that you sort out all the baggage and issues. This may even require a personal and professional interventions. It’s very unfair to enter a relationship with another person who may be whole and offload all our baggage on them. I always recommend persons mentally and emotionally sound before entering a serious or committed relationship.

Pray

Now that we understand what being a whole person is all about and you have made the that decision you’re ready to take the next step.
Before beginning to look go to God in prayer. It’s important to have a conversation with Him. Though He knows you so very well it’s is important to talk to God. After all it’s what a relationship with Him is all about.

A successful relationship with your Heavenly Father is the key to a successful relationship with your spouse to be. As you pray, let Him know, your likes, interest, the characteristics you are looking for in the person you want Him to bring into your life.
It is so important not to rush ahead of God. Don’t jump into a relationship and then want God to make that person His choice for you. Be patient and you will find the person that you’re meant to be with. God has such amazing ways of bringing that person into your life.

Attention

Now that you’re ready to find your significant other and you’ve been persistently praying about it it’s time to keep your eyes open. Be attentive. As you are looking for someone there will be persons that grab your attention. They spark your interest. It’s critical that you do not act hastily. As the acronym PATIENT, it’s so important to have patience when looking.

Perhaps you may have a checklist of things that you’re looking for in someone. If you do then try to ensure that the person checks off all the boxes. Some of those traits and qualities that you might be looking for in someone may not be visible right away and this is why our next step is so important.

It is important to note that you should not compromise. If you are believing and trusting God for the right person in your life and they do not check all the boxes of your checklist, then perhaps it is wise to continue looking. Sometimes our emotions can get the better of us and it is important that when someone grabs your attention that you don’t just say this is it on the onset.

Time

Spend time getting to know each other instead of making out. It is important to spend time with each other so that you get to learn about each other’s interest, experiences and personality.
Spending time does not necessarily mean face-to-face or physically present but it can also mean a FaceTime call or a video chat or even a good ole regular phone call.

When you do meet face-to-face I’d recommend the interaction to be in a public domain, family residence or gathering. The idea is to never alone with each other in a secluded spot. Accountability is another significant factor that will help the dating process to develop in a healthy and natural manner.

Spending time together should never put anyone party into a vulnerable state. Spend time with each other and with each other’s family so that you get to know all there is to it. Keep in mind that if this is for the long-haul and you do marry this person you are also marrying into that family. So it is important to build a good healthy relationship with each other and with each other’s family.

We are living in a world where promiscuous living is rampant but that doesn’t mean that you have to be. I started my opening sentence by stating that you should spend time with each other and not making out.

Interest

As you’re spending more time with with each other you get to learn about each. It’s quite normal that the other persons catches your interest. Before I continue it is important to note that when someone catches your attention doesn’t mean that they have your interest. If you’re interested in someone it means that you were looking forward to spending time with them getting to know them and that you’re ready to become or be in a serious or committed relationship.

When you’re interested in someone, it should also mean that you are no longer looking to find someone else. You’re no longer wanting to play the field anymore. You become off limits. Being interested implies that you’re locked on to this person. This person has gotten your attention and now has your interest. This is another phase of getting to know the person. Sharing your likes and dislikes. Building a strong foundation in which trust abides.

Emotion

Now that you’re spending more time together and you’re interested in the other person’s it’s quite natural that an emotional connection develops. This happens more when both parties are vulnerable and share things that are deeply personal. Connection begins the form.

Above all, it is very important to keep your emotions at bay. Enjoy the experience but as an adult you need to manage your emotions. Do not make decisions based on emotional impulse. For example persons are quick to say I love you based on how they are feeling. Sometimes it can be very premature in a relationship. If there is a lack of reciprocation, it can result in hurt or a feeling of rejection. Even worst, a premature I love you can now leave a conscientious person caught.

Emotion is like a fire which if not kept at bay it can become a wild fire. Many relationships build relationships solely on emotions. While affection is normal and healthy in every relationship it must never be the leader. Emotion is like a roller coaster. One minute it’s up and then the other it’s down. A relationship built completely on emotion does not last because love is not an emotion. While being in love does have emotional benefits it does not come from emotion. True love comes from the heart and it is not based on how we feel but often times true love is a decision that we make. Learning to love is beyond emotions.

No Physical Relationship

As you get to know each other more it is quite normal that there is physical attraction to each other. It is often referred to as having, “Chemistry.” It is the attraction or the magnetic field that pulls each individual towards each other. It is woven in our DNA. We are wired with physical affection for members of the opposite sex.

However, there are boundaries in which we operate and they should never be crossed until we have the blessings of Almighty God. Physical relations are honorable in the sight of God when there is a covenant of marriage. Apart from that it is highly recommended that you abstain from physical relations.

Once you enter physical relations it cannot be undone. The innocence between the two persons is no more. The two have become one. We are living in a society that believes in testing the waters before marriage. On the contrary, even if society accepts this, it doesn’t mean that God does.

Physical relations makes it difficult to leave a relationship.

Might I add that there are people who use their bodies to lure and trap others. They can use it as ammunition to keep the other person trapped through guilt. Be very careful.

Take The Next Step

Now that you’ve been through prayer it is time to take the next step. What is the next step that you might ask?

The next step really means the next decision that has to be made in a dating relationship. The decision is simple. You need to determine whether to become an engaged couple or to end the relationship in a healthy manner.
By following this algorithm or sequence through the word PATIENT, it would lead you to discovering who the person you have been dating or looking forward to meeting up with and spending your time with. In getting to know this person you will discover things that you like about them and also things that you may not like about them. I’m not one to promote looking for issues and shortcomings of others but it is important to recognize red flags.

What Is A Red Flag?

A red flag gives you a warning. It is not an orange flag that says proceed with caution. To me a red flag says that this person is not to be in a relationship with. You as an individual would have an expectation of the person that you’d like to eventually spend your life with. The idea of this PATIENT algorithm is really to determine whether this is true or not. It is ok and recommended suggestion that we check compatibility. It is a critical step in relationship building as this is one of the most important decisions that you will ever make.

The idea of marriage is for life and not a temporary joining of two people. It is a covenant that can never be broken unless one person becomes on faithful or dies. Though our world promotes promiscuous living and the sanctity of marriage is not honorable to many through this article I hope that it changes the mines. As we enter into marriage it is important to recognize the importance of each of the other person who is who we are relationship with.

Final Thoughts

Now that we have been through the acronym PATIENT then taking the next step is important. This simply means that you enter into a committed relationship where both persons have the same mutual feeling and are working towards a collective goal. This means that you decided to no longer be looking for anyone else and that this relationship involves both persons and are an exclusive item. The next step could also mean that you’ve been through the dating process and you’d like to get engaged.

Finally the next step can also mean that both persons or one person have decided that this relationship is not healthy or it is not a fruitful one and it is OK to no longer see each other. By following this and taking the advice that I’ve shared can lead to both persons leaving a relationship with their head held high and with little to no regret. Both persons reputation I saved and they can continue pursuing all looking for a relationship that will be satisfying rewarding and a blessing to both parties.

What do you think of the acronym patient? Is it something that you found helpful? Did it provide you with a new perspective on dating? Please share in the comments below. Don’t forget to follow us on Pinterest and on Instagram. Join our mailing list today! Share this article to many young adults so that they can build a healthy and successful relationship. Maybe you know someone who this will be a blessing to. Please do not hesitate to share as it’s not by chance you are reading this today. Spread the love as we do here at the New Horizon Life.